Tomorrow is the last day of the semester!  Hello summer vacation!  When I started this blog back in January my intention was to stop using it at the end of the semester since it technically was a school project (which I got full extra credit for by the way).  I already have a MySpace (www.myspace.com/cadetberas) and keeping two pages updated is difficult, however, I never realized how many people would rely on my blog to get information on me that I otherwise don’t normally tell people.  So I’ve decided to keep my blog and to update it regularly with random info that’s going on and also anything important that goes on as far as my cancer treatment as well.  Enjoy! And thanks for visiting

I meant to post this yesterday but was too busy icing my nose :)  Played a game of pick-up basketball at church last night.  Had a great time with 5 other ladies including my bff Stephanie.  Got bit first play of the night; on accident of course.  Then we played a game called Knock-Out.  I never played before so I watched everyone else play a few times and then they got me to try it.  Yeah, got hit in the face with the ball, nose started bleeding.  This is why I play hockey lol, more equipment LoL.  After that we played a little 3 on 3 and I made a few shots and good passes and managed to stay out of injury territory.  Of course next month when the ladies meet up I will play again.  It’s nice to get away from life for a while and just “be normal.”  Can’t wait ’till our next game, but I’ll still always be a hockey girl

Jeff and I went to the Military Ball this past Friday at Salvatore’s.  We had a great time. It was nice to step outside of reality for a few hours and just have a good time.  Even danced a little! 

 

Ever hear the saying “God only gives you what you can handle?”  I’m starting to think he is overestimating my strength.  I had my mediport put in last Monday.  I had it taken out today.  Not only was it already infected (through no fault of my own, just my body rejecting it) it was also defective.  I went to have chemo and it backed up, so the nurses flushed it with heparin and saline thinking maybe it was just a clot, um, no, still didn’t work.  So they are going to run tests on it now that it is out and see if it was a manufacturer issue or what happened.  Ya, so I’m back on IV pokes until further notice

Now in order to fix the infection over taking the small section of my chest where the port was located, I had to have the port removed and then they put a small “spongy gauze” that was soaked in antibiotic solution into the incision spot and left it there.  Open.  I’m now walking around with an open, semi draining wound on my chest, it’s great let me tell you.  They covered the spongy thing with a rolled up gauze ball and then some waterproof sealant and stuff but it’s still not stitched or anything and I pretty much can’t wait until that gets fixed on Tuesday. 

Tomorrow is a Methotrexate day.  Mega hooah (sarcastically).  Night everyone, gonna go try and find a comfortable way to sleep with this ball on my chest.  Did I mention I’m not allowed to sleep on my stomach, only sitting up or on my back.  Guess how I prefer to sleep…ya, stomach, I know…

Went to my first Relay for Life yesterday at the University at Buffalo.  Walked proudly in the survivor lap with 3 ladies who survived breast cancer.  Stephanie walked arm and arm with me; my big supporter :)  It was great to see all those young people rallying and having a good time for such a good cause.  Stephanie and I decided we want to form a team next year and do the whole night relay experience.  Can’t wait!

 

Hey everyone!  More changes since my last update posting.  Biggest news is that Jeffrey and I have talked and worked out our differences and are once again a happy couple.  Not engaged again (yet), but a happy couple working things out and learning communication is key to all!  God bless the broken road that led me to him, and back again. 

The leukemia is active again.  On a new chemo regimen.  Keeping me sick and ick but trying not to let it keep me down.  I sleep alot more than I did on other chemo cocktails (which if you ask Jeff is hard to do LoL).  But continuing on with a reduced work schedule and still doing classes.

My hearts doing better.  No chest pain (except for a little from the chemo).  Having some minor surgical procedures done this week.  Having my port-a-cath put back in tomorrow and a bone marrow tap.  I’ll also have a spinal tap and 3 of my teeth pulled as well.  Can’t wait lol

Doing my first Relay for Life this weekend and I’m pretty excited.  I will be walking in the Survivor’s Lap this year (for those that have survived or are currently undergoing treatment).  It’s at 7:00 at the University at Buffalo’s Alumni Arena.  I was invited to walk last year in the relay, but my spirits weren’t that great last year.  I was angry and frustrated and didn’t want to do anything cancer related.  I still get angry and frustrated at times, but I realize what I’m going through now, and what millions of others are going through, and I’m looking at is as an opportunity to meet others going through similar situations and those that have survived similar situations.  I can’t wait for this wonderful opportunity!

Got the phone call the other day I’ve been dreading.  My oncologist called and said my blood work showed some abnormalities and off counts and I needed to come in for more testing.  I knew what he was trying to tell me; the leukemia is back.  Sad to say, the news is not really easier to hear the third time around.  I wasn’t in total remission, only induction remission this time so it was a slightly easier let down this time though. 

I’ve already started a new induction cocktail.  DVP + M this time around.  Daunorubicin, Vincristine, Prednisone, and Methotrexate.  I go to Roswell Park once a week for the Daunorubicin and Vincristine IV’s and take the Prednisone and Methotrexate at home.  I’m also continuing regular plasma, platelets, and red cell transfusions to keep my energy levels up. 

I made a few new little friends this past week during chemo.  I usually try to sneak down to the peds unit for chemo.  I feel more comfortable down there.  23 is a hard age to get cancer at.  Everyone in the chemo room with you is like twice your age, not much to talk about, and generally they don’t want to talk to you.  So I sneak down (don’t worry, I don’t really sneak down there, I’m usually followed by a nurse or two) to the peds end and hang out there with some of the teenagers and younger kids.  You can learn so much from them!  My new little friend is named Kyle and he’s from Toronto.  His mom brings him to Rowsell once a week for outpatient chemo.  Kyle had a bone marrow transplant a little over a year ago and relapsed a few months ago.  His mom brings him all the way to Roswell because she said it’s the best cancer hospital she’s ever taken him too and he loves it here.  I agree.  Roswell rocks! 

Well I must be getting off to class now, will write more later, I have so much to say! 

I had another blood transfusion today, counts are off again, ugh.  Anyways, I read a small pamphlet during the procedure from UNYTS (Upstate New York Transplant Services).  I thought about all the times from that first hour of my leukemia diagnosis until today that someone had saved my life…over 50 times!  I was a regular blood donor from the time I first turned 17 and was eligible and when I got my driving permit at 18 signed up to be an organ and tissue donor at the DMV.  I wanted to give life back even before I needed it from others.  April is National Donate Life Month.  You’ve been given the gift of life…give it back!   You never know when your going to need the favor returned…

Did you know:
1. More than 4.5 million patients need blood transfusions each year in the U.S. and Canada.
2. 43,000 pints: amount of donated blood used each day in the U.S. and Canada.
3. Someone needs blood every two seconds.
4. 37 percent of the U.S. population is eligible to donate blood – less than 5 percent do annually.
5. About 1 in 7 people entering a hospital need blood.

April is national Donate Life month!

Currently, 100,000 individuals in the United States are awaiting critical organ transplant with countless others in need of the Gift of Life everyday through tissue and community blood donation.

You have the capability to help. A single organ and tissue donor has the ability to save and enhance the lives of up to fifty individuals, and community blood donation is your chance to the Gift of Life now - prior to any end of life decisions you may want made.

Visit www.unyts.org or www.givelife.org for more information on how
YOU can help give the gift of life

As I start this blog, it is officially 4 hours away from being Easter Sunday, and since I have no intention of drinking any coffee between now and midnight, I think it’s safe to say victory is mine!  Yes, I did what many who knew me thought was impossible; I went 40 whole days without coffee. 

But there is something that will be even more important to me than the cup of coffee I will have at breakfast tomorrow; the fact that I set a goal, and stuck with it.  Not one of my finer qualities if you know me personally.  I stopped making New Years resolutions many years ago because of it.  Usually I made it to January 3rd LoL.  That personal victory, of setting a goal, and sticking with the decision to follow through with it NO MATTER WHAT (withdrawl symptoms included) means way more to me than a cup of Kona coffee (and if you know your coffee, that’s REALLY good coffee LoL). 

Happy Easter everyone!  And if your one of the people that gave something up/made a change for Lent and stuck with it for the 40 days, mega hooah to you! 

“He is not here; he has risen, just as he said. Come and see the place where he lay.”
-Matthew 28:6